YOU CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL

Being careful is an intelligent approach when it comes to taking care of your possessions, nurturing your relationships, deciding who to marry, maintaining good dental hygiene, and the aforementioned brain surgery and financial planning. (Money and scalpels aren't areas where you want to play fast and lloose. Yet when we cross the line from careful to doing too much of it, we often do ourselves more harm than good.

“What if I go out and something happens?”
“What if I say this and I’m misconstrued?”
“What if I do this and society bashes me?”
“What if I write this and people criticize me?”

So many what-ifs! So many hindrances, so many joy killers!



Yes. You can be too careful, and sadly, it’s almost the same thing as being too careless. The truth is, living a very careful life is living a very small life. For the longest time, I’ve walked around with a thick armor and a high 100 feet wall around myself- protecting myself, my sanity, my wellbeing but lately, I’ve come to realize that maybe I just don’t let myself go enough. I’ve discovered that in avoiding pain, I’ve also let go of several real chances at happiness. And my defenses?

“What if they think I’m weird?”
“What if I’m just not good enough?”
“What will they think of me?”
“What if I become awkward and they get angry”?

I was careful about making friends, dating, leaving my room, meeting new people, getting mixed with the wrong crowd, careful about decision making. I had a strong conviction that if I carefully evaluated every step, everything would fall into place. A big fat heavy bag of bullshit. I needed a job but never applied for any- “what if I get rejected?” I almost never want to leave the house- “What if people think I’m fat and ugly?” Single and wanted companionship but I rarely ever tried to connect with strangers, never went out on outings or talked to people I didn’t already know. I never even went out on dates!

Then a few months ago, I evaluated my life for the past few years and although I’ve gained this tight leash/control over myself, I do not like any of it. I’m not getting anything done. No new friends. No relationship- it all feels bleak and washed. So many things I want to do and they all seem so out of reach.
For some of us, it’s been a cycle of what-ifs, rules and we choose regret because we just don’t want to be ‘out there’, restricting ourselves with the assumed judgments that people might not even have thought of in relation to us. In some ways, following ones heart becomes a negative behavior. We sacrifice so much of potentially great chances because we think if we just go with the flow, life will in some way send some dose of happiness our way eventually.

You should stop being afraid of your true self because you think it will spawn negative criticisms. Yes, people may dislike who you truly are but they might also love it. Another year is ending, it’s time to start really living and stop hiding away. Stop avoiding disappointment- the only way to truly live is to develop a fuck you attitude to people’s perceived opinions or judgment.  You don’t need to live a careful life in order to find acceptance or happiness- you will never truly be happy. The problem with being too careful is  that sometimes in life great opportunities lie in the unknown. By avoiding the unknown and "playing it safe", one misses the chance to find out where a new adventure may lead.

You’re interested in someone, tell them
You’re mad at someone, work it out
You’re passionate about something, embrace it
Ignore people’s demands, ignore baseless societal demands

Be willing to risk rejection for something beautiful,, speak your mind even if you’re wrong, make mistakes and own up to them, express your emotions and tackle your insecurities, be willing to try and fail, be perfectly human. Living a life that is too careful is the fastest way of living a life empty of the things you love.