DEAR LADY, EMPOWER YOURSELF

So he tells you he’s not planning on getting married or having kinds soon. That he still has to set his life, get a better paying job, a bigger apartment, a car. He wants to have that masters, while still managing the little job he has at the moment.

Aunty, you sit there smiling with your birth certificate, or SSCE, or BSc: thinking of how lucky you will be to get married to this big dreamer. With the little he makes, you ask for the most expensive lifestyle. “My friend’s boo just got her a Samsung.” You have sleepovers at his place and sometimes stay there for days. He leaves you in the morning in pyjamas and returns home to find you in the same pyjamas.

You have cooked, cleaned, and arranged the house and now in front of the TV watching ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’. You quickly prepare noodles or even the most elaborate meal for him.

The only serious conversation is about the kind of foodstuffs you need, or how he needs to subscribe for the cable, or how you need some cash. Nothing intelligent ever comes out of your empty skull.

“Baby you need to get new shirts” “Sweetheart, your shoes are getting worn out” “Babe, the money I told you I needed is taking time, can’t I ask for something again?” are the only advices you’ve ever given him. Nothing productive, nothing brilliant, same empty conversations every damn day!

Yes, we know you are pretty, no doubt about that but so is every second girl passing by. Sis, don’t you realize you aren’t doing anything a maid can’t do?

Now he has finished studying and has a better job but there’s a problem. You just don’t fit in. he needs a co-decision maker, an adviser, a partner, a co-financeer of the home, not just a woman who can cook and clean, a woman who knows when he doesn’t have enough. A woman who gets off her butt to get things done. He still respects you. a lot. But he said “Sorry, we’re just so different.”

The first thing he did was replace his maid- You. because now, he can afford a maid, and have a proper valuable wife who has brains. And this is where we hear the infamous words.

“I was with him through thick and thin when he had nothing. Now he’s successful and I’m nothing.”

Sweetheart, you are nothing to him. And to yourself.

Ladies, empower yourself to be the woman a successful man wants to be with, a woman who would be able to sustain herself, her home, her own future.