ABUSED. Chapter 6

The following week was unbearable. I was miserable, lonely and pathetically withdrawn into myself; so much that people that didn't know me would think I lost a child. Most of my time was spent checking my phone's notifications and my heart racing whenever I had a call only to deflate when it wasn't his name lighting up the screen.  Work was another story. I messed up more times than I could count, getting tongue lashes from my boss who had had enough by Wednesday.


If my uncle noticed that I was around more than ever, he didn't say anything. I developed a new routine: wake up, go to work, get back, check my phone, eat and sleep. Aunty Mariam walked on eggshells around me, expecting me to blow up anytime something happened  but I was just numb. I'm sure she knew it was about Kayode but I appreciated the fact that she didn't ask questions. Saturday was the worst. There was nowhere to go, no friends to visit, the urge to chat with anyone just wasn't there and I realized how friendless I had grown to be over the past year. When weekend went and he didn't call or send a text, I started thinking of how I possibly overreacted but I dismissed the thought as fast as it  came.

It was the second weekend after I angrily left his house and I was playing candy crush on my phone when I got a notification that i had been tagged on a facebook post by one of Kayode's friends. I hastily opened the picture and realized it was an owambe picture. Kayode was in the background, staring vacantly into the camera with the same dead eyes I had been seeing in the mirror everyday for the past week. My heart lurched in my chest, secretly happy that he was feeling as much pains as I was and another wave of loneliness hit me.
I longed for his sweet touches and tender kisses but the image of him almost slapping me again came to my mind, making me lock my phone and shoving it into the pocket of my hoody. My ring tone blasted almost immediately.

"Hey babe," came Ufuoma's voice from the speaker "Wassup."

"Hi." I answered. She was one of my closest friends from the University until Kayode happened and we drifted apart. I remember that the last time we talked, I was at Kayode place and he had an irritated look the whole time.

"What's wrong? You don't sound so good" she inquired, obviously noticing my inability to sound cheerful.

"It's nothing, how have you been?"

"Woo... Not bad sha. We're pushing it," she sounded distracted as I could hear someone screaming my name in the background. "How's work?"she said.

"It's been okay o. Is Oyinda there?"

"Oh yes. You can hear her screaming like a mumu abi. We're coming to Lagos next week for a wedding coverage. Will you be available or you need permission from your boo?"

"Hahaha, very funny," I said sarcastically. "We're not really on good terms at the mo. We'll talk when we see."

We talked some more and agreed to meet up the next Saturday; we planned to attend the wedding together and then hang out that night before they go back to Ibadan the next day. My sadness was lifted a bit after the call and for the rest of the weekend, I was in a fairly good mood and even managed to crack jokes with my sister in law. Monday came and surprisingly, I was in a good mood because I believed either one way or the other, everything would be alright. I threw myself into work and by lunch break, I already wrote more articles than I had in a very long time. I spent my lunch break going over my reaction at his suggestion. I mean it was just a request, yes? I had the choice of saying yes or no without outbursts. I then considered the possibility of working for him and realized it wasn't that bad. It meant we'd get to spend more time together and I'd report to no one but him. For the rest of the week, the urge to call him grew stronger and stronger and I could barely restrain myself from reaching out to him. The only thing that stopped me was the dead cold silence from his side.

The rest of the week slid on so slowly I wished I could push it forward. I thought less about him but the gaping hole refused to be filled despite all I did to feel whole again. My love for him was undeniably much. On Wednesday, I called Olaitan, my bestie in Abuja and she was a little cold at first but loosened her guard before the call ended. I reconnected with my friends at work but it still wasn't the same without him. Everything reminded me of him but I was determined not to break the silence.


That Saturday was my best day without Kayode in over a year. After I told them about what happened, Oyin threatened to try out her karate skills on him and Uffy promised to give him a good tongue lashing when she gets hold of him. I wore one of my best clothes, applied makeup on my face and was proud of the way I looked. When we left the wedding, we went to their hotel room to change into casual wears then hit a club at Ikeja. We took pictures, did aproko about our school friends, reminisced funny moments from school and danced. I had fun with no restrictions and I felt like I could indeed live without him. I uploaded my pictures on facebook later that night and the comments rolled in


That night at 11:38pm, Kayode called me and by 12am, we were good again.