ABUSED. Chapter 12

A pregnancy was the last thing I needed. The next morning, I was calculating the number of days I had missed feverishly in the kitchen when Kayode strolled in with a cheerful smile, seemingly in the best of moods.

"Good morning baby," he glanced at my phone and saw that I was checking the calendar. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," I said, locked my phone and gave him the sweetest smile I could. That morning, he prepared rice and we spent the Saturday lazing around in the house. Mummy called later that evening and at first, I was scared that maybe she had developed a pregnancy detection ability.

"Ekaale mummy," I greeted even though my heart was beating  wildly in my chest.

"Iya oko mi," she sang cheerfully. "Bawo ni?" Her voice sated my fears and I relaxed a bit. After pleasantries, she said she had something to talk to me about and I felt nauseous all of a sudden.

"Your uncle called me and said you were making some very bad decisions which he refused to tell me about. Se e ja ni? Kiloshele."

I eased up again. "Rara ma," I  forced myself to chuckle and sound light minded. "E ma da won lohun jare. It was just a small fight"

I was happy that my uncle still chose to protect me from my parents' wrath and came to the realization that that was his way of protecting me. I felt guilty about the way I treated him. He was giving me a chance to listen to him but this time, through my parents.


"Odaa, I told him that eyin le ni ara yin. I know you have agidi but please listen to him." We talked about other things and when she asked about Kayode, I said it had been a while I saw him. I felt bad about lying to her immediately but couldn't take back my words. Before she ended the call, she reminded me again to listen to my uncle and I assured her that I would.

I went to bed that night very very scared of the possibility of being pregnant. I loved Kayode but I had life plans and a pregnancy wouldn't get in the way of that. I couldn't take that huge step.

The following week was fine. On Friday, I went to a pharmacist's shop and got three pregnancy test kits and a box of birth control pills. I got home before him, as usual and that gave me the time to hide my purchases because I couldn't even imagine what his reaction would be like when I break the news to him. On Sunday, I decided to test the waters-I owed it to the baby I wasn't sure was there yet.

"Kayode, when we get married and start having kids, would you ever beat them everytime you get angry at them? I mean uncontrollably like you beat me?"

He looked hurt and narrowed his eyes lightly, probably weighing his answers carefully. "Children need boundaries and real discipline. Don't get me wrong; I can try to control myself around them but a parent has to be strict. My guardians went overboard but look at me now, I turned out better than most of my friends."

For some reason, that didn't sit well with me at all. I couldn't believe he praised the same people that made him the way he was. I agreed that children should learn rules but I didn't necessarily agreed with battery and abuse as a method. His face was such that I knew there would be no reasoning with him and I decided there and then that no matter what, I would protect my children with everything I had.

He wanted sex that night but I pretended to feel ill and he gave in.

With every day that passed, my anxiety grew. I googled on the internet for early signs of pregnancy of pregnancy but luckily, I didn't show any signs. At least not yet. I read that there were other reasons why my monthly period could have been delayed so I started playing fervently that it would be because of the stress. I had missed six weeks but all the articles suggested that I wait for another two weeks before taking a test. This time, it was me who was else and snappy. Kayode even joked one day that he better be careful or else he'd receive some beating.

The wait made me nervous and lots of time, I zoned out and made very silly mistakes at work. I was a ball of nerves. I wouldn't concentrate on anything and a few times, I managed to get to food burnt or salty which even took me to a whole new level of emotional roller-coaster. The week I had been waiting for finally came and that Friday, I rushed home to prepare dinner for boo. As I entered the house and saw that he was already around, I knew I was already in big trouble.  He sat on the edge of the bed in the bedroom with eyes as hard as slate rocks.

"What is this?" he asked calmly, holding my hidden pregnancy test kit. I knew I had lost but wasn't ready to accept defeat yet.

"You went through my stuffs?" I accused him, at least trying to point out how wrong it was for him to invade my privacy."

"I came home early to search for some work related documents I kept in the house. I couldn't remember where I kept it but I searched everywhere and guess what I found?" he laughed sarcastically and I knew I was already in some deep shit. His eyes hardened and I swallowed visibly.

"It's a pregnancy test," I huffed guiltily.

He took a step forward and I noticed his mounting anger. In terror, I kept edging backward till my back hit the wall and right at that moment, I knew there was no escape. I hugged my stomach, subconsciously protecting what I wasn't even sure was there yet.

"I-I-I'm sorry," I stuttered.

His face softened as he took a step closer and I knew it was the calm before the storm.