Book Review: ON BECOMING BY TOKE MAKINWA

So the Holy Spirit told Toke Makinwa to write a book... Lol.


Whether the idea of a book is good or not, I cannot predict; time will tell. The Nigerian society is unpredictable as regards how they accept things (whether it will come back to haunt her is another thing and a risk she has to take) but the issue is Toke has been teaching us different things every season.This issue of book is for teaching women to be strong and brave doesn't  sail to me. Did she leave the relationship whole and free? Who filed for divorce? (recall she still reconciled with him after the son was born). What led to her filing for divorce? Wasn't she still with the man even when it was known that he had a baby mama in marriage? What hurt her finally? Was it the fact that he was unfaithful -  something she had known for years, even at a point, the pair where living together as a couple by her own admission or what hurt her was THAT PEOPLE NOW KNOW. The shame and not the actual event.


She exposed herself as a very weak vindictive woman who always wants to win at all cost. A woman so obsessed with winning that she doesn't know when to stop. A goal-getter. A woman with deep rooted psychological issues.A woman who struggled for everything and hustled and was determined; sadly she took all these into relationship. The whole Maje relationship was competitive and she was hell bent on winning the war.
Some battles; she wins, some battles; she loses but she thought she had won the war when he finally married her after 3 failed promises; failed attempts organised by who else? Toke, the lady that must win. I will make a sex tape with Maje- I must win. I will be financially supportive of him, I must win. This kind of 'determination' is dangerous in a relationship. She looks to me like the Leah in the story. Jacob married Leah first due to circumstances but his mind was on Rachel the whole time. In her own case, she had the freedom to walk away all the while. Imagine watching a sex tape of your own man with a woman you know and you still stayed. What straw could break this woman's back? Even when he admitted she was pregnant, Toke still asked the gender of the child? Lmao.


A man told you openly that she is the girlfriend and you are the wife. A husband got a woman pregnant and still told you that 'perhaps, this is what I wanted' and you hung on. For what? Is there a trophy for long suffering? There was no time the relationship was unknown to her. She saw a sex tape of them both, so what the heck? They were living together for a long while. Perhaps Toke, so obssesed with winning thought Anita would just fizzle away after seeing her instagram posts?Lessons: what lessons? The lessons keep changing. The book is not even conclusive. Toke is still single and vulnerable. She will still learn more. Did she teach women how to walk away when they can, not when the situation has become shameful and almost impossible to manage before onlookers?

                                                                     
What lessons? The book peddles pre marital sex like its bread and butter. And she says all these like 'its my right', "we made love, he doesn't  pour inside me" bla bla. Immorality being peddled as just. Same Toke that told the whole world that Linda Ikeji is not a role model? To think she was going through all these in her private life while she was busy castigating others. Now she has been found out; she is milking the situation. Hypocrisy stinks.The next lesson Toke tried to teach us was viaV-logs. How to handle your man. How to excel in relationship. How not to take rubbish from your man. When she was busy being a monumental failure in hers...I ask again, wasn't this the same Maje she was always hailing as the king of her heart, god of perfection, thank God I found you on Insta? Teaching us how to appreciate the man in our life. Is it not this same Maje who was doing all these backstage? Or was it a different one she was projecting on social media?


Now it has gone sour, she wants us to see the other side. New lesson.Toke always on her shows tries to teach young women to be confident in themselves. Don't do things just to please a man. But she was in on the sex tape cos "she can do anything to keep her man", she even can 'bleach' to keep him. Miss self confidence.Her only saving grace is that the Anita and Maje people she so brazenly exposed their personal lives along with hers will not come out with a rejoinder because I  bet you, they will disgrace Toke if they try it. He who lives in glass house shouldnt throw stones. You're the media personality with a career.Toke still tried to teach us via her book, how to be strong, bla bla. But the big question is; HAS SHE LEARNT from her mistakes? Its easy to write books and not adhere to them, same way she makes vlogs and says stuff to inspire women without inspiring herself.I wonder the next lesson she'll try to teach us next 6 months....

Culled. 

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