LIAR, CHEATER, TROUBLEMAKER PART 1

That sunny afternoon, she was sweating like a goat because the sun decided to smile down hard and seriously, it was scorching. she trudged with her bathroom slippers clad feet till she saw the gate of the bank.

“Good afternoon sir”, she greeted the gateman who nodded in response before she asked him for a pen to fill in the deposit slip in the bank. He said he didn’t have one and she noisily dragged her feet to the rotating door of the bank where the Hausa doorman handed her a pen.

“Thanks”, she muttered.

“Aunty no forget my biro o”, her doorman friend said jokingly as he opened the door of the bank for her.

She sighed loudly as the cold air from the AC slapped her in the face, almost immediately drying up her perspiration. She got a withdrawal slip, filled in her details and waited for her turn on the queue to pay in her cash. Fast forward to about 20 minutes later, she finished with her transaction and got back into the square box; when just before the door closed, a guy entered the box with her and together they waited for the light indicator to change the door light to green. She gave her Aboki friend his pen and was just starting to think about the scorching sun when she heard this baritone voice behind her.

‘‘Excuse me’’.

She looked back and saw that it was her partner in the door, “Yes?”

“Please may I talk to you for a few minutes?”

Okay, she loved his voice and thought why not?

‘‘I’m Banji”, he said, extending an handshake.

“Damilola”, She replied monotonously but secretly enjoying the feel of his soft palm on hers.

“Do you live around?”

“ Weeeeell, kind of, my grandmother lives just behind the bank”

She mentally knocked herself on the head; too much information, right?

 To cut the story short, she gave him her phone number upon request and for the next two weeks after that, she was disturbed with so much calls and texts from Banji and she refused to go on a date with him. Okay, she liked him, loved his voice and thought he was actually cool headed and the icing on the cake was that he’s a lecturer at one of the Colleges of Education around, but it just didn’t feel right. He stopped calling her after two weeks of her rejection and well, she forgot about him.

Ever had this moment when you have nothing to do and you resort to stalking people on facebook or looking for people you actually know physically but you aren’t friends with on facebook and you just can’t resist checking out their pictures?
Lol…that was what happened to her like 3 months later after her friendship with Banji died a natural death. She typed his name into the search engine and trusting her Glo data connection, she got the person she was looking for in less than 10 seconds. She clicked on Banji’s photos and the first thing she saw was his latest addition of over a hundred photos. No, he didn’t get married…it was just his introduction. She laughed so hard she fell on her butt. Nigga was taken. Seriously off the market and it was funny because like 3.5 months earlier, he was on her neck for a date. Lying bastard.

 Eventually, she got over the almost date and moved on with her life but last week, she was in bed thinking about a better life when she got a beep indicating a new whatsapp message. It was Mr. Banji, her long lost taken friend.

“Hello” she stared at the message for like 10 minutes and then decided against her better judgment to send a “Hi” in response.

“Long time, u just bone my side, u no get my time at all”, came the next message less than a minute later.

She stared incredulously at her screen for another 10 minutes and after deciding not to lash out, she told him she was sorry, that she had been busy.

“U didn’t even bother getting to know me before shutting me out. All I asked for was a chance to let you know I had real feelings for you”

“You know its Dammy u’re chatting with, right?”

“Of course, my runaway girlfriend”

She almost threw her phone across the room with how irritated she was. ”Ok”, she replied.

“Dammy dear, please make it up with me, not because of now but because of the future. Let the discussion between us go beyond this medium. I believe we can be so much more than this only if you would give me a chance”

“Ok”, she texted back again.

The idiot proceeded to ask her if she could go to Ibadan with him the next day, said he had some unfinished business with some people and wouldn’t mind if she tagged along with him…Just like that? She was almost blinded by rage. She ended up giving him a crappy excuse and went to bed feeling foolish that night. Throughout that week, Mr. Banji came back from his sabbatical leave from her life and tormented her with offers to go on dates with him and throughout that week too, the only word in her repertoire was “NO”. Of course she was waiting for the right moment to give him the verbal attack of his life. Trust God not to disappoint us when we need Him the most, her chance came six  nights ago when Banji came online again and asked if she had a boyfriend:

“I’m in a relationship of four years, with a man I love with all my heart”. She gave herself a high five for the bait she offered him. “What about you?”, she asked.

“My babe travelled out of the country two years ago and since then, I’ve been alone” Her eyeballs almost popped out of their sockets. She expected him to lie but that response was an epic one.

“Lol”

“Is being single and alone funny? How I wish you would make me the luckiest man in the world and accept me as yours”

That was how he claimed his “undying love" for her o. And you know what this babe did? She logged on to facebook, saved three of his introduction pictures and sent them to him. You would expect someone like that to keep quiet, right? Oga didn’t shut up o.

“You’re only judging from outside, u don’t know what’s really happening. Your assumption is wrong o. it’s true that we did introduction but it was based on a condition”

She sent seven shocked face smileys after that... Lol. It was officially confirmed that Banji was mad, stupid and a lying bastard.

“Don’t you have a conscience? U’re telling me I don’t know what happened? I do… u’re engaged to someone but still looking for puppets to play with. Didn’t you have your introduction? Cos I still don’t know the assumption u think I’m making here. I wonder if it makes you sleep better at night telling a total stranger that your engagement to her was based on a condition, only animals do that. You are fucked up, u’re a bloody liar, a hopeless player and I pray u meet you doom soon”

“Madam, you’re taking it personal o”

She was fuming by then. She sent a final message to him and decided in her mind that no matter what he said, that would be her last message for the night.

“You know what? Your introduction is none of my business. You only made it my business when u attempted to make me a pawn in your stupid game. Let this be the last time u’ll ever send me a message or try to contact me. I have a record of everything you said tonight on my phone and one wrong move from you, I swear this will go on facebook and I will tag your fiancé and everyone you know. Try me”

She has not heard from him since that night. Please who epp Damilola see Banji o… Lmao